Ok, so, these questions mean alot to me, since, wow LOOK AT THAT I am also a big lady who has struggled with the way I look. And honestly, this applies to ANYONE, whether you are uncomfortable with your weight, your boob size, your hips, WHATEVER; this is for you.
Here are my cardinal rules of feeling good in your own skin:
- Walk around naked; Yep I am serious. Being naked ALOT is one a surefire way to get comfortable in your own skin. Sometimes when no one is home, I’ll just not wear clothes. And I LOOK at myself too. I get used to ever curve of my body, the way it moves when I walk, how the colors change from place to place, my stretchmarks and scars; I take it all in an ACCEPT that this is the way I look. I feel like the reason why alot of people dong feel comfortable naked is because we dont see ourselves naked alot without feeling the need to cover up.
- I have said this before, but I will say it agian; MASTURBATE. No single activity got me more familar with my body than touching myself. DO IT.
- Wear things that YOU find attractive and are comfortable in. Whenever I am about to get laid, I always wear my special lacey underwear and a matching bra because it makes me feel incredibly hot and confident in myself. Whatever that means for you GO FOR IT. You cannot possibly feel sexy in something that makes you feel weird.
- Keep in mind that confidence is key. No one is going to find you attractive unless YOU do first. Its OK to be insecure about things (we all are.), but do NOT let that own you. Accept that you are going to be insecure about things, and work to accentuate the things you are confident in. I literally cannot say enough that BEING CONFIDENT IS IMPORTANT. NO ONE WILL QUESTION SOMEONES BEAUTY IF THEY BELIEVE IN IT THEMSELVES. Now, note, this does NOT mean arrogance; dont constantly talk about how beautiful you are. But also do not constantly berate your looks in hopes that people will tell you otherwise: being beautiful starts when you believe you are and do not need anyone to confirm. Its all about how you hold yourself.
- Remember when it comes to sex MOST PEOPLE DO NOT CARE. In the mad dash to get clothes off and inside eachother, most people are not looking at the fine details of your body. For example, there is one guy who has seen my naked more than anyone else, and that was an old fuck buddy. we had ALOT of sex. and I mean alot. Constantly. And since we got used to it, we started to slow down and appreciate it. Long story short, I remember asking him if he ever noticed my stretchmarks and he said he honestly never even paid attention; they were just an insignificant part of the whole. Then he asked me if I ever noticed the scars on his chest (from a pool accident as a kid I think) and i can HONESTLY SAY I NEVER DID. But suddenly they were there, right in front of me, and they were pretty noticeable, but I just was always so absorbed in him as a whole, they never got my attention. And even after I noticed them, I didnt really care too much. This is what I mean when I say that when it comes to sex, most people are not going to be so critical of anothers body. What you are insecure about, others may not even notice.
- PEOPLE SEE YOU. You arent hiding anything from anyone. When a man sees me, he knows my weight, no matter what Im wearing. He knows Im a big girl. He knows my face and my skin color. And when he decides to approach me anyway, hes showing me that it obviously is not an issue to him. When I take off my clothes later, while there is obviously difference in Jessie sans sweatshirt, he sorta already had an inkling of what was there anyway and if anything, being naked is just another improvement. I remember in my most recent relationship we got to talking about my weight and I asked him if he was surprised by how fat I actually was without clothes and he literally laughed and told me that hes not blind; he could tell my weight just from looking at me, and he couldnt see why I would try to hide it anyway. THAT was the moment I realized that Im fooling no one by trying to smoke and mirror my way out of what I weigh— people see see you, and most of the time, they do not care. And if they DO, are those really the people you want to take off your clothes for anyway?
- This is the body you have. Its yours, You cannot change it in a moments notice. You have to work with it, and accept that this is what you look like, and OWN it. This is the best advice I can give you. Love everything about yourself because at the end of the day, ITS YOURS. It belongs to you and no one else.
Now mind you, these are all things it took me YEARS to master. Im 22 years old now, and STILL there are some days that I forget about one or more of these rules. I have to admit, it gets harder to remind myself when Im single, but its so important that people force themselves to be confident on their own; becuase in the end, people will always come and go, but you will ALWAYS have yourself.
I really hope I helped and if you take NOTHING else from this, remember: no one will find you beautiful unless you do. Confidence is sexy, so OWN it.
This brought a tear and a smile to my face. This is getting printed and posted all over my apartment. <3
One of the few things I will reblog from my sex blog; everyone deserves to know this.
I use hun not hon because you are not my honey, you are my fierce warrior
this was surprisingly uplifting
why does it matter if someone’s room isn’t clean
like it’s their own personal living space
if they want it messy and they’re comfortable with that then let them keep it like that it’s not your room and there’s this thing called a door that prevents you from having to see it so unless you’re going to go out of your way to spend your own time living in there calm down martha stuart
Apparently Target is going to add a gender neutral section to their clothing department which is pretty awesome
Uh oh! your password must contain a number, a capital letter, all of the lyrics to the “Friends” intro song, and at least two symbols from the greek alphabet
My sister told me that her ears were ringing so I told her that she should answer them.
She punched me in the boob.
“But I don’t care either, I don’t care!” said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin’s robes and shaking them. “I’ve told you a million times….”
And the meaning of Tonk’s Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all.